I read a nice article “ Ten (More) Tips for Fighting Right with Your Sweetheart.“ .All fight; the secret is to fight right so that conflict doesn’t damage your relationship.I am book marking the same here and found it useful.
- Pick the right time and place so you can speak openly and without interruption
- Avoid harsh start-ups. This switches off the other person or makes him aggressive.
- Don’t try to prove that you’re right
- Yelling doesn’t relieve angry feelings, it inflames them.
- Be specific about what exactly upset you, and don’t fall into generalizations
- Name the exact emotion you feel. Angry, resentful, hurt, embarrassed, humiliated, vulnerable, afraid, up-tight, depressed? Just the act of observing the fact that you’re feeling a negative emotion helps you calm you.
- Watch your body language. Body touch can help a lot. For example,hold each other’s hands while having a difficult conversation can be helpful.
- Close a difficult conversation by talking about happy memories
here are twenty-three phrases that help turn down the heat of anger:
Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I see you’re in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let’s agree to disagree on that.
This isn’t just your problem, it’s our problem.
I’m feeling unappreciated.
We’re getting off the subject.
You’ve convinced me.
Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective – especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.]
Please keep talking to me.
I realize it’s not your fault.
That came out all wrong.
I see how I contributed to the problem.
What are we really fighting about?
How can I make things better?
I love you.