Are you a difficult person?

One of the challenges of being a difficult person is realizing that you’re a difficult person. Copying a set of questions  from Happiness project blog which  I used to determine for myself the type of person I am. Be brutally honest with yourself. Don’t make excuses for yourself or other people; just try to answer accurately. These questions apply to family members gathering for a holiday, or to co-workers, or to any group of people who are trying to get along with each other. “Yes” answers may be a red flag that you’re a source of unhappiness for others. Not necessarily, but perhaps.

  • When you join a group of people, does the mood often shift? Does a group tend to break apart after you join it?
  • When you do something generous for others, do you think it only right that your generosity will allow you to make decisions for them or direct their actions?
  • Do you find it hard to get your calls and emails returned?
  • Do you often find that when you do something nice for people, they do a lot of grumbling? Do they seem ungrateful or uncooperative? Do they seem reluctant to accept your generosity? For example, you offered to host Thanksgiving dinner, but no one appreciated it.
  • Are you often puzzled when people dramatically over-react to little mistakes, oversights, or casual remarks you make? You bring up some hilarious anecdote from years ago, and everyone acts upset.
  • Do you think it important to express your true feelings and views authentically, even if that means upsetting other people?
  • Do you find that people seem resentful and angry when you offer objective, helpful criticism or advice?
  • Do you find that even when you’re trying to be helpful by explaining something or providing information, people don’t seem to want to listen to you?
  • Do you feel annoyed because people tend to refuse to acknowledge your greater experience or knowledge in an area, and instead, ignore your suggestions?
  • Do people tend to change the conversation when you try to explain an insight that has led you to make a major lifestyle change?
  • Do people tend to gang up against you – when you’re arguing one side, everyone takes the other side, or when one person criticizes , everyone else chimes in?
  • Do you find it funny to see other people squirm?
  • If someone asks for your opinion, do you think it’s right to tell them frankly what you think?
  • Do you think it’s useful to point out people’s mistakes, areas of incompetence, or previous track records of failure?
  • Is it fairly common for one person to tell you that he or she will speak to a third person, so that you don’t have to? In other words, do people volunteer to act as intermediaries for you, rather than let you do your own talking?
  • Do you think it’s a waste of time for people to talk about their personal lives or pursuits?