Did early loss of my Mom impact me?

I read the article from Deep Nishar “Want to be a Compassionate Leader? Call Your Mom!“.  I want to be compassionate and helpful influenced by my mother malaria program and this mother died when I was 11 years old and how people relate to her work with malaria eradication program after 10 years of her death. This is my retrospective of myself.

I want to be secure and also relate with a group of people I can trust and  people who can trust me. I go to extent of placing  blind trust in other people.   At times feel that people desert me and do not take me along with them. Is this a misunderstanding that they desert me when actually that is not the case.

  • How much my experiences in childhood of being  deserted by relatives and  being blamed by trusted uncle and  father working too long and cannot see him for days  has on me?
  • I come home late and spend less time with my children. My father used to take me to story telling sessions and I share stories to children each night.
  • How much experience of not getting anything from my father make me buy everything for my children.  Do I really know what a father performs with children? I do not buy things or spend on myself.
  • I want to eat good food and my wife is concerned that I am not aware of the quantity. How is my today’s food habit impacted by challenge to get home food in early age?
  • I have guided myself alone on path of learning to living . Is this reason that I hate to be unsure where  to go and what to perform and how to balance emotions on the path to reach decided goal?. Is that why  I live in extremes?

Today I am more resilient, responsible and independent. I  focused to keep their surviving parent happy and have tried to live parts of my life how he would expect me to grow.  I take additional  responsibilities of the parents with my siblings.  Do I really enjoy what I am doing in these scenarios? Does this behaviour also pass on to my personal family life? Does this behaviour drive me to make others happy? Do I feel by making them happy, they would take care of me? They might not take care of me and it is quite possible they can exploit me.