Difference between “Be alone” and “Feel lonely”

lonely-boy
Are you aware of difference between “Be alone” and “Feel lonely”? I have always been happy to be alone, as I do not associated being alone with loneliness. Each human being needs to learn to be alone and enjoy being alone. Each human being needs to take time to be alone to think about one’s own wants and needs without being driven by some one else. One they understand certain things that one needs to be comfortable in “Being alone”, they can start exploring with other people. Being alone becomes a pathway to self-discovery.

Loneliness is an emotion, actually it is feeling of emotional emptiness. When I am alone, Can I get lonely? YES! Does “Feeling lonely” really explain to other person what you need? Would it be better to use more specific words other than  “lonely” to describe your state?

  • Are you longing for a human relationship?
  • Do you feel an emotional hole unfilled?
  • Are you looking for or intimacy in relationships?
  • Do you miss relationship and do not know how to establish same again?
  • Do you miss someone specific?
  • Do you want attention of other people on you?

One observes in cities, there are people with mostly everything what they wanted.  They have friends and people who knows them well. The complain of “Feeling lonely” exists. They try to visit their villages and travel with families and plan activities to keep them occupied. Why do they “Feel lonely” when they can continue to interact with people around them.?  Is root cause the circle that people have put around themselves and the circle started to define their world or relationships?

One observes the city behavior is enhanced in modern internet era, people have different means to connect and interact with each other. Started with phone for people to connect from different location, we advanced to mobile with all social networks, SMS, Whats-App, in addition to older medium like  radio and TV. How much do these new mediums make us feel connected and not “Feel lonely”?

Pre 1900s, Cities were few and did not exist. There was little or no transportation and communication facilities. They suffered from diseases and famine. Here are scenarios where people experienced “Being alone” or “Feeling lonely”

  1. Sage: One choose choice to cut down your desire for interactions. This is “Being alone” & not “Feeling lonely”
  2. Diseased: Once is forced to be lonely as one cannot walk or do his own activities. The person wants to have interactions and feels that his wants are rejected .
  3. Love: When one moves far away from loved ones for trade or other reasons. One dream’s of other person. One faces similar scenario when when your loved ones die and you feel emptiness in relationships.
  4. War: A soldier in border waits in prepared state for response awaiting the enemy attack. There is uncertainty about what happens in future. Remember soldier choose to be in the state he finds himself.
  5. Elderly Stage in life:  One has completed so called worldly commitments in life and not clear what to perform next and made to feels alone. One goes in search of nature or arts and immerse oneself in nature and arts
  6. King’s : One has lot of people around and acts as per the expectation of the world. One wants to be left alone where one can be his/her own self.
  7. Prisoner:  A punishment. You have no knowledge what happens in real world today, beyond the prison and have memories of your past experiences.  In addition, a person to be hanged waits for the day of death.