Are we good in maintaining relationships & Friends

I find social networks help  to share information. They create virtual experience, a a transaction based relationship. One misses genuine human touch in relationship. Friends point to me, not being part of WhatsApp. Friends report getting 150 to 200 messages per day on WhatsApp and end up deleting all the messages in one shot, without viewing most of them. Friends are happy and respond when there are fewer message in WhatsApp. May be after initial excitement of connecting with old memories, I see people keep sharing information sharing and there is less of genuine engagement.

2 apartment neighbors and I share a relationship more than neighbor. For more than 3 months, we plan to meet and the meeting did not happen.  We seem to plan to meet for lunch or dinner, meet at place, meet at specified time or scheduling using phone. At the end, there is no match with eating, place, time, phone, etc.. and we do not meet.  What is becoming important, meeting or logistics of meeting?

On Republic Day, one neighbor called via SMS for in-prompt evening meeting. Other person messaged being outside home. Initially I was not sure and procrastinating. After 1.5 hours, I decided to take action and walked across to his house. He was open to meet and was not pushing meeting when other neighbor was there. He proposed to go for walk and chat in park. After some time, other friend had come back home. Something made him to walk to park to meet us and we had a real good conversation.

Awesome meeting that did not happen for long time. It happened when we moved away from comfort feeling, accept others with their constraints, take initiatives to meet. and we had a good time to nurture better relationships.

Every time I see my club house in my apartment, it brings to mind my youth and my friends. At my young age, I have observed elders going to club in the evening to catch with friends. Though my father was not part of club, I used to visit club with my friend as his guest for movies and a game. The same friend who took me as guest is Senior Army person posted in Bangalore and we have met thrice in last 10 months. Is our friendship only in our memories?

Have not met another school mate residing in Bangalore for more than a year. We are trying to schedule meeting.  I go once a month across his house to Valley school and have not gone down and visited him at his home.  I used to do this earlier. Why not now?

With another friend, I have kept myself away from a friend across last 4 years who was in good relationship for previous 6 years. I had no intent to ignore him.  If so, why I have allowed problems in one relationship to impact another relationship ?

I experience the power of action when I visit Chennai for longer than 2 days. I  call friends and we plan to meet. Some times meeting happens when one of us or both of us are ready to travel a good distance to meet each other. Some times we blame the travel and provide the distance as the reason not to meet. Are we finding reasons not to meet, rather than reasons to meet?. 

Looking back,  We seemed to have found reasons to spend time together.

  • Cycle a far distance from my house to be with my friends(except few) to home.
  • Stay at night in friend’s home when their parents are out of town.
  • Stay at night in friend’s home when my friend and their family are out of town.
  • Do a group study together for IIT or college exam.

No one asked other person on phone “Can I come to your house?”. We never thought twice to start cycling to go to other friend’s home. We did not phone to check whether other friend was at home or  ask whether he is okay to meet in midst of his relatives. We just went and we engaged and has good time.

When I was young, my support was always my friends and friends provided my emotional needs. I think that i miss that relationship today.  Everyone is working on priorities, problems and opportunities in their life.  While we need to be aware of  those things and act accordingly, let us try not to be a jerk — especially with our friends.