What does a Great Father Do?

Today my daughters wished for Father’s Day. It raised question how should father be to children. Sharing  real life story observed and asking myself “How will I behave with my children in adverse condition where I have no control?” and “Can I be father to my daughters like the father to his son in the story?”

“This is the price you pay for having a great father. You get the wonder, the joy, the tender moments – and you get the tears at the end, too. “

Once upon time, there was father and mother. The retired father had a son and daughter. The son went to engineering college.The son was healthy guy, involved in sports and leading social-curricular activities at college.  The son was college students chairman and coordinated placements also. In his final year, the son got placement in non-IT firm, which was very much aligned to his passion and got placement in IT company.

The son wanted to be in India, with responsibility of taking care his retired parents. When son submitted his medical checkup for non-IT firm, the company send him an email that they are withdrawing the offer and the reason was that he has only one kidney. Yes, one of his kidneys was removed when he was less than 2 years old. The son was broken and could not comprehend the reason, as he never have thought someone would reject him based on physical ailment and have involved in lot of automotive work with passion.  The son went to attend the initial training for IT firm and realized his mind not ready for IT job.

Here comes the real test for father. Your son was confident with his success and for no logical reasons, he has been thrown away from pedestal and how do you  support him. The father supported his son and asked him to do what is best for him. The son joined a job in his area of interest  paying him salary less than Rs 10,000 p.m. This job was a really tight job being on the shop floor and hectic interacting with lot of people.

The father motivated son to appear for GRE/TOEFL. The father enabled son with internet dongle( not common in those days) month, downloaded application, printed them, filled them and got pay order for application fees and send application to colleges, travelling where needed.  The son got admission in to college in USA and had no scholarship.  The father said that he will support with his means. The son quit his job to come and prepare and the father has bought one-way ticket. When you leave job, you lose your medial insurance also.

Here comes the second test for  father. The son plays volleyball every day and one day he slips and his ribs are broken. His visa interview is around. The father and his friends admit him in hospital and they perform minor surgery.  The father acknowledge that falling in sports was natural.  when your children make mistake that impacts their life, as parents we get annoyed and hurt them with our words. The father did not say anything and spend a lot of money, which was limited at his life stage.

Here comes the third test for father: After 2 weeks, they find that surgery has not healed and the surgery needs to be repeated. The father was broken in heart. Visa interview is coming, tickets are booked, son does not have job and son is in hospital, need to spend money, which is  limited and they have to repeat surgery.

The father ran around found an elderly doctor waiting till late night. His only priority was his son life and not him. The elderly doctor said that he would take care  son’s priority and not others. The son may attend visa interview and will not be able to travel on booked date and can travel after week of the booked date.

Before his retirement, the father  bought car and he loved driving  the car. He sold the car and paid for second surgery. He explained others that there is problem with his ears and does not want to drive and hence he is selling his car.  As there was no money to get another fresh ticket, he ran around  and literally pleaded/ requested many people and  with doctor’s  letter was able to get ticket transferred to later date without additional payment.

Readers can see connect between this story and Sujatha‘ story, which I have read also. When I observed this father-son journey, it came across as new age variant and decided to write and wish all fathers Father Day.